Bela

Grieving for our pets is a special kind of pain - while society in general don't care much for it and associate it with weakness and self-indulgence, the fact is that we as a species are connected to our pets (the point could be made vice versa as well) and for thousands of years there is a link between us that to my knowledge no other species on this planet create with other creatures. Only humans select certain animals as their pets, share their home with them and grieve after they die. I have never heard of donkey or a geese having a pet - only humans do it. And its with a heavy heart that I have to write here about the passing of sweet Bela. 

Bela was not officially my dog - she belonged to my first neighbour who decided to adopt her one winter when I was between the ships on vacation and enjoying my deserved rest after non stop 6 months work. Like everything else that young couples do, it was a spontaneous decision made in a heat of the moment but not very well planned - they both worked long hours and the little fluffy white puppy was crying alone in a empty house. So I suggested, why don't you leave her with me, I am here just across the road and she will be in a warm house + will have somebody to look after her. So the puppy Bela spent days with me in a warm kitchen and would go back to their owners in the evenings. I clearly recall her learning how to use sandbox for wc and how excited she was when she managed to jump on the chair for the first time. 

In the beginning she was too small to even made it trough the few steps in front of the house. The very first time she saw another dog, she was so scared that she run back to the house to hide behind me. And it was very sweet how she wold always run behind me when she felt threatened. Once we were walking somewhere trough the forrest and she was barking at the other dogs in the distance but once they decided to respond to her challenge, she hid behind me. The official master of the house was actually a bossy cat who surely had to adopt to a fast-growing puppy who was completely harmless but eventually grew much bigger. 

 

For the longest time Bela was just a sweet, playful puppy and was roaming free around our houses, as animals do in the countryside - occasionally this was dangerous for cats who would get killed by a car but dogs were doing just fine. I always thought she had a wonderful life, living completely free without any fences or barricades - I recall waiting for the local bakery bus and watching her joyfully jumping trough the tall grass in the fields. Yes, this freedom also had a price - when her periods started, she was not protected from local dogs and we had to quickly sterilise her (traumatic experience for all involved, I still feel so guilty about bring her to a vet) but that was really the only way we could keep her from million dogs attacking her. 

As the years passed, I was really always looking forward to go on vacation and to return to the little sleepy village, where Bela was now a part of the story. I had always wondered would she recognise me and brought her lots of goodies and treats (bought specially for her in other countries) - naturally she would always recognise me and we would have a wonderful time together, she was just a lovely, sweet natured dog. When babies came along, her owners naturally shifted their priorities and perhaps she was not pampered as before but that is probably reality of many dogs elsewhere. Seriously, my main reason to go back there for eventual vacation was to see Bela again, for me she was a connection with the place much more than anything else - to find out that she has gone was really sad news and I don't think that I will ever forget her. 

The one particular memory I have about Bela is the bright moment I forever keep in my heart. It was a beautifully quiet and peaceful afternoon, one of those lazy summer afternoons when there is no other sound around but just a birds chirping, insects buzzing and a lonely tractor somewhere far away. I was standing in front of the house admiring the view, with Bela by my side - it was one of those strange moments when I was perfectly aware this is happiness - very rarely I live in a moment but that time I recognised the beauty of it. It was perfect, tranquil and peaceful, just me and a dog full of love standing next to me. She can never be replaced, because she was unique soul like all of us. I am still grieving and it created a scar on my heart.