"Dnevnik jedne ljubavi" - 40 years

It has been 40 years since cult rock album "Dnevnik jedne ljubavi" ("The Diary of One Love") was released in 1973.

This fascinating,original and inspired work of art was completely new idea at the time when our local croatian discography was still in tender age - quick look at contemporary charts shows that as nation we still preferred easy-listening, festival compilations, folk melodies from various ensembles and corners of Ex-Yugoslavia, revolutionary songs about WW2 and music with greek or mexican flavor. Solo LP albums by one artist were rarity (singers were mostly represented on singles or compilations) and even than mostly compilations of previously released material. Not that we did not have rock artists - during previous decade in the 1960s there were literary hundreds young "beat bands" trying to find their voices as opposition to mainstream,most of them inspired by western pop sound and singing covers of international music stars. From one of those "beat bands" young and self-assurred Josipa Lisac came along, urban city chick with a strange deep alto and apparently refusing to play money game - even when she performed on 1960s pop festivals her music was moody and melodramatic. 

Composer Karlo Metikoš (who until than was a big rock star and in fact rock pioneer in Ex Yugoslavia) and lyrics writer Ivica Krajač have built "Dnevnik" around Josipa's unique voice, imagining a complete story of one typical love affair as told trough ten thematically connected songs - a young girl dreams about her future, feels excitement of her first love, ups and downs of relationship, break up and make up, another new start and realization that in the future relationship would have to be built on mutual trust. It is actually a kind of mono-rock musical with Josipa Lisac brilliantly expressing huge diapason of emotions, finally ending with defiant "Kao stranac" ("Like a stranger") where she demands of her lover to be honest with her, or else. 

Definitely very original and unusual for its time, "Dnevnik" was collaboration of the whole team  - Metikoš (music), Krajač (lyrics), Brane Živković (arrangements), Lisac (vocals) not to mention huge group of backing musicians that reads as "who's who" in than-contemporary rock elite. Its basically "Josipa Lisac and All-Stars Band" topped with unforgettable black & white cover photo by Jozo  Ćetković. Even the inside cover with hand written lyrics shows that first letter of each song represents the singer's name. On the backing vocals were classical singers Anica Zubović and pop singers Ksenija Erker & Zdenka Kovačiček, though latter voice was so powerful that Kovačiček is the only one audible. 

I have actually read contemporary review written by rock critic Dražen Vrdoljak at the time of album's release - its very cute to look back at it from this perspective, because here we have "rock critic" (in a communist country) reviewing very seriously local rock LP album that had no competition in national scene. If I remember correctly, Vrdoljak praises the idea, backing musicians and everybody involved but is not so sure about singer's mannered voice and hopes that this "affectations" is just a passing phase. Well, just to show that Lisac at the age of 23 was already fully formed, I can only quite another rock journalist who 40 years later calls her a "mother of vocal affectations". 

"Dnevnik jedne ljubavi" had stayed in print for 40 years now. Generations of listeners grew up with it, learned all the lyrics, lived with it and introduced this music to their kids. The authors themselves continued their lives and careers with changeable luck - if backing rock musicians eventually lost their battle with time and got forgotten, three main architects continued working together and collaborated on theatre stage with rock operas "Gubec beg" and "Grička vještica". As for singer herself, Josipa Lisac used her debut album to definitely distance herself with pop festival past and built her future in pop/rock direction.From now on she was known as our own "rock lady" and future generations would never mix her up with other mainstream, easy listening performers - I remember how surprised I was to discover that in fact at the very beginning Lisac sang on the very same festival stages as Ana Štefok, Višnja Korbar, Gabi Novak or any of old-school singers, basically she was a rock outsider in a bunch.

As a teenager growing up in 1980s I don't remember Lisac looking back at her debut very much. She was too happy with her recent new work and was promoting new hits, with just occasional glance at "Dnevnik" as concert encore to satisfy the audience. But all those subsequent studio albums, hits, TV shows, magazine covers and awards were quickly forgotten once composer Karlo Metikoš died in 1991 - from than on Lisac is on a mission to keep his memory alive and had returned to "Dnevnik" almost exclusively. As much as I noticed, she had selected several songs from this album and performs them in a various "clothes" on every concert. Somewhat half-heartedly she also occasionally records new material but its clear her best work is now behind her and she is focused on "Dnevnik" as a totem. It works wonders still - music and lyrics are brilliant as ever and after all these years I have not found any croatian female singer to seriously challenge Lisac. I am not sure will she ever work with same lyrics writer again or invite all-stars backing band again as back than, however composer Karlo Metikoš got posthumous "Porin" national music award and recently his own street in Zagreb. Lisac herself had kept her head very high all those years and never succumbed to commercial temptations - distancing herself from cheap music trends she kept relatively low profile and got "eccentric" image along the way but her style and reputation as artist never suffered.She would forever stayed associated with this materpiece.

Interesting note: kids today might discover "Dnevnik jedne ljubavi"  and love it, however I hear everybody claiming its the best rock album in Ex-Yugoslavia. While its definitely true that its one of music masterpieces and cornerstones of our local,national rock, I wonder how much young generation actually knows about music back than? There are several interesting rock LP albums released around the same time that deserve re-introduction, like works by  rock group "Time", All-Star collaborations on LP's by Tihomir "Pop" Asanović (his "Majko zemljo" is basically continuation of "Dnevnik" sound),Drago Mlinarec  or "Idexi" - they had all worked very successfully and had released inspired works where often they would collaborate with each others. Just look out for Josipa on albums by "Korni grupa" or Tihomir "Pop" Asanović - she was sensational "special guest" even back than! Yes, "Dnevnik" is masterpiece but I urge everybody to check out the competition because there is a lot of interesting music to be discovered. And while you are at it, check Hungarian rock singer from same time called Sarolta Zalatnay - she was hungarian Josipa and her early 1970s music is no less powerful.

"The Element" by Ken Robinson

Very interesting and inspirational book about finding one's real path to happiness - Robinson understands we are all born different and have different talents, therefore he points that our educational system with boxing everybody in the same standardized boxes does not really work as children often have completely unique and various interests and intelligence can't be measured. Trough stories about people who actually achieved something despite surroundings (family not approving, health issues and so on) he explains how we could find happiness trough following what our hearts tells us - along the way he explains the difference from being professional and amateur, the importance of nurturing the hobbies and how to enjoy our little "oddities" simply because it is something that makes us happy. If everybody around you find its "silly", "childish" or "immature" Robinson points that obviously one has to simply ignore surroundings and enjoy what makes us happy because its our natural response to spirit. Only rare people are lucky enough to combine hobby and profession, however the rest of us might nurture wonderful ideas and pictures in our secret lives and this books explains why it is so important never to give up the inner child.

Croatian music in Vienna

At the very beginning of 2013. I would like to look back and write a few words about a wonderful series of concerts during November 2012. in Vienna,Austria.

It is something I would have covered as a journalist with the greatest pleasure - had I stayed in that professional waters - alas, now I am simply reading about it from a distance via internet and still mulling over in my head.

I would not dwell here on historical/psychological background of our connections with Vienna - croatians were always fiercely independent and stubborn about not being austrian servants, however the fact is that aristocratic, legal and administrative centre were not in provinces but in Vienna and Budapest. And now, like a child who wants to prove himself to parents, we are re-visiting Vienna bringing music,culture and art of our young & independent country. Trough November 5 to December 6, croatians musicians were performing in different concert halls around Vienna during "Festival of Croatian Music" - apparently this is already 8th of these festivals, something I was not familiar with - and presenting our cultural heritage to audiences outside of national limits. 

It was truly important and serious affair - combination of national pride and a bit of show off that actually I find very sweet, since Croatia is small country with turbulent recent past full of negative news, so here we have handful of people fighting the windmills and focusing on something positive. Artists represented were hand-picked in order to show little bit of everything - classical musicians rubbed shoulders with jazzers, choirs with rock musicians, we even had a classical piece composed by current croatian president Ivo Josipović!  If only I could have been a fly on the wall on these concerts! Had I been on land instead of sailing my way around Mediterranean I would surely visit every single of these concerts and talk to musicians and what it meant to them to play in Vienna. 

Who played and what - for some reason I see that musicians leaned heavily on Mozart (probably expecting this would have been appreciated in Vienna?) but everybody had spiced up their repertoire with some national jewels. 

ALEKSANDRA ŠUKLAR played Boris Papandopulo. 

AMADEUS TRIO ZAGREB played Beethoven and Tchaikovsky but also our own Bruno Bjelinski. 

Soprano LIDIJA HORVAT DUNJKO sang Haydn, Mozart, Frescobaldi and Bizet but also added ancient 17 century croatian composer Vinko Jelić. 

Brass band “SIMPLY BRASS” went for Bach, Holborne and Haydn but added young croatian composer born in 1976.

GORAN JERKOVIĆ conducted a choir "IVAN FILIPOVIĆ" that performed Tavener, Tchaikovsky and sacred works next to our own composer Joško Ćaleta.

Flute-quartet „4SYRINX“ played Mozart,Grieg and Bizet along with croatian composer Mladen Tarbuk.

MATEO GRANIĆ and MATEJ MEŠTROVIĆ played Brahms, Bach,Mozart and Saint-Saëns along to Jakov Gotovac and Ljubomir Kuntarić (Meštrović also had his own piece).

LIDIJA DOKUZOVIĆ conducted choir „ČIPKICE“ that had brilliant repertoire of traditional songs from different corners of Balkans. 

BORNA ŠERCAR had his own Jazz trio performing pop songs in jazz settings.

SRÐAN BULAT (guitar) played Rodrigo and Albéniz along to our own Papandopulo and Frano Parać. Now this is interesting because many,many years ago when composer Frano Parać was still a young rocker, he led a "beat band" where main vocalist was Josipa Lisac. Today, after more than 40 years Parać is a classical composer whose works are being played in Vienna and Josipa herself was a guest on this festival, representing pop-rock side of croatian music. 

Presented as JOSIPA LISAC & BAND, my all-time favorite singer and her guys played selection of hits from her now legendary career and received excellent reviews in media - surely big portion of the audience must have been Yu-nostalgic, people who loved and worshipped Josipa decades ago when she was unique presence on national rock scene - however, apparently she did impress even the austrians, which does not surprise me as I think her talent knows no limits and she is a world-class singer who happened to be born in a small Croatia. 

Wish I was there!

Bessie Smith

Bessie Smith lived just a relatively short life on this earth, but she left a deep mark and a spark that still shines decades after her death - alone among her contemporaries, she is the one remembered from her generation as a trail blazing personality and a talent that still has power to move and impress,thanks to many recordings still available,cherished and played today. Surely, she was not the only one - there were literary a hundred of black female singers at that time and naturally,Bessie must have been influenced by some of them, however her example lead the way - not for nothing her deep,powerful voice gave her a title "Empress of The Blues" and she was absolutely untouchable in her position. If nothing else, once listener get accustomed to her style and talent, this might lead to exploration of other voices of now forgotten 1920s "classic blues" idiom when sassy female singers were the biggest music stars, long before men with guitar re-shaped blues into something completely different (today we associate genre with man-with-a-guitar music).

The very first time I heard the name "Bessie Smith" was probably during my teenage years when I listened Janis Joplin - Joplin was rock singer and therefore something "cool" to listen, along the lines of music like "The Doors" or Jimmy Hendrix. Apparently Joplin was a lifelong fan and even paid for Bessie's tombstone,however it took many years before I finally heard some early demo recordings where Joplin sings blues copying Bessie note by note (and I found it sweet and cute,lonely girl from Port Arthur channeling long gone black blues singer who was definitely not in fashion). Another mention was in connection with Billie Holiday who listened Bessie's recordings in bordellos of Baltimore as she swept the stairs (in her autobiography Holiday would claim she would clean around just to hear those recordings) - I could never exactly hear Bessie in Billie's singing,because Bessie had a deep, powerful earthquake of voice and Holiday was a gentle little squeak compared to her. But now I understand that the older woman had a strong, earthly honesty that appealed to young Holiday and this honesty communicates with listener even today, despite of ancient recordings.

Some twenty years ago I finally laid my hands on Bessie Smith compilation. It was on a tape and titled "The Collection" (I have it on CD now) where her music was presented as a career retrospective, going from very first 1923. hit "Downhearted Blues" to her last 1933. recordings - it took some time before I got used to tiny, muddy sound of now-primitive sound of 1920s recordings but once I got into it, I never got tired of them. Like a message from time machine, Bessie's strong, powerful and massive voice sang about love,passion,heartbreaks and loneliness - she might have recorded them in 1920s but there was nothing old-fashioned about her message or honesty, this woman was real as anything around you as you listen to her music. Of course, some of her experiences as a strong black woman of 1920s were not really connected to my life (and she did had a soft spot for cruel lovers who would beat and abuse her) but on some unconscious, human level she communicates strongly about emotions we all know and experience one time or another in out lives. When she sings "see that long,lonesome road, Lord you know its gotta end" it really breaks your heart, because we all know and understand that feeling of questioning the whole point of existence (a point we all come to in lives). Its this message that communicates so strongly with everybody curious enough to explore her ancient recordings, that still echoes and has a power to impress no matter where on earth you live - in Denmark,young Chris Albertson was impressed enough to became fan and write a definite biography of her life.

I LOVE the music of Bessie Smith - that massive voice backed with plink-plonky piano (usually Clarence Williams) and on later recordings, bunch of the best jazz musicians like Louis Armstrong, I never have enough of it. Maybe its a paradox, because most of her song are downbeat (at least lyrics wise) but they make me happy - she is so strong and powerful that even in the blues I hear defiance, singing along and feeling good. Recently I finally invested into CD Box with her complete recordings and this was the best Christmas present to myself, as many of these recordings I never heard before. Since Bessie introduced me to the whole "classic blues" genre of 1920s and I had discovered many other blues singers who followed her, its very interesting to hear her cover versions of other people's songs - I am still on first CD and already she had recorded songs by Ida Cox and "Ma" Rainey,not to mention "Downhearted blues" that was originally done by Alberta Hunter. There are several double CDs in the box so I made decision to enjoy them slowly month by month and I am very happy so far. 

My new CDs

The places that I visit these days are cold and windy - not much fun to travel on the Mediterranean these days - if the rest of Europe is covered with snow, coast towns of Italy, France and Spain are just icy & freezing. Only Barcelona seems to keep sunny,smiling face and is always the most beautiful and exciting port that we visit. It also happens to be the place with excellent CD shop that somehow resist closing down - there are few in downtown area, despite of trend of CD shops to close down and disappear as people buy music on line or simply download somewhere. I am old fashioned,so I like to buy CDs with liner notes,photos and informations who played where and when,its important to me. 

So - here are some of my new purchases.

Little Richard's first two LPs from 1957 and 1958 are now released on one CD and I love them dearly. I probably wouldn't care for them several years ago, but in the meantime I've heard many of his contemporaries and can understand what exactly he was doing and how it continued to influence other artists. He combined several exciting ingredients into his own musical style and its really good. Strange his moment in the sun seemed to have been relatively short and he never again got this white-hot inspiration like in 1950s.

Bobby "Blue" Bland's early recordings are now available as "The Duke Sides 1952-1960" (sub-titled "Little Boy Blue") and its excellent introduction of his classic work, how and why he became legend in the first place. I already have some of his work from 1960s and beyond but this is the first time that I hear this material. He wails backed by excellent guitar playing,horns and big orchestra - in my opinion this is in the same league as B.B.King's classic work, first rate and I really love it despite the fact that most of songs are lyrically downbeat (but curiously they are very upbeat musically). You click your finger to Bobby's heartbreak stories!

Same thing for Bessie Smith Complete Recordings Box set. I loved Bessie for many years now (listened her more than decade - or had it been two?) and enjoyed two compilations of her work - "The Collection" was released long time ago as part of "Columbia Jazz Masterpieces" and  two-CD "Essential Bessie Smith" not long after that. Of course she worked in 1920s so she had never released LP albums, her singles were sporadically re-discovered by every new generation and compiled just like music by Billie Holiday - who in fact, often mentioned Bessie as her main inspiration (I think it was Billie that turned me on to Bessie in first place). Back to CD Box - as I browsed in Barcelona's CD shop nothing particularly interested me until I saw this Box - Heaven sent for classic blues connoisseur like me - well,I did not have money to buy it immediately but waited next week and than walked back for my Christmas present for myself. It wasn't even particularly expensive - in fact it was very affordable, considering this is box after all with COMPLETE RECORDINGS - I enjoy it very much in spite of the fact that she sings the Blues and lyrics are mostly downbeat - this music suits me so much that I feel it in my bones and suspect I used to live in 1920s. 

Latest purchase was Mina (what else to buy in Italy) and second of her multi-lingual trilogy. Recently I wrote about her spanish-language compilation and yesterday I bought english one. Not convinced this is the best way to introduce her to my english speaking friends, because her particular magic somehow gets lost in translation - whatever is passionate and dramatic in italian, sounds somehow empty banal here and though the voice & music are exactly same as in original recordings, I suspect its better to stick to italian originals. 

Essay on Bessie Smith coming soon.

"Yo soy Mina" - Spanish recordings by Mina

Compilation of spanish re-recordings by italian pop goddess - she frequently released singles focused on specific markets,for example "Brother Bear" had already collected all of her 1960s german recordings on a rich single CD. Majority of these recordings were released during Mina's golden years (early 1970s) when her voice was at the peak of its beauty and power. Similar to twin projects in english and french, this one is titled "Yo soy Mina" ("I am Mina") and has some of her best, classic work but this time with spanish lyrics - as expected, its not so much different from italian originals, in fact it follows them note by note except that it is sung in another language.

But oh,the music - penned by such giants like Mogol,Lucio Battisti,Sergio Endrigo and Gianni Ferrio,it is literary a who's who of best in italian music - melancholic stunners as sung by best voice in italian pop. Even in another language, Mina is strong, powerful, expressive and virtually untouchable when it comes to this kind of material. There is a big chunk of her 1974. LP "Mina®" which raises question was spanish release of this album planned but never realized? The most interesting songwriters on this album were Shel Shapiro/Andrea Lo Vecchio who wrote songs that suited the lady like a glove. Two interesting spanish-language rarities are included here, both from late 1960s - one is beautiful "Canzone per te" by Sergio Endrigo, another collaboration with Astor Piazzola "Balada Para Mi Muerte" that in itself is recommendation enough for purchase of this CD. 

"Empress of Rome" by Matthew Dennison

I am old enough to remember 1970s BBC TV adaptation of Robert Graves's historical novel "I,Claudius" which still ranks as one of the best TV serials ever. It indirectly inspired another TV serial ("Rome") and actress Sian Phillips would forever in my mind be associated with empress Livia who in serial was power behind the throne. So no surprise I grabbed the book about real historical Livia when I saw the title.

I am actually reading it right now - to my surprise it is a little dry. Surprising, since everything about real- life story and characters involved is very exciting and open to many various interpretations and points of view. Dennison is doing his best, comparing ancient documents and researching daily life of old romans. However, his mission is to show famous "evil" Livia in different light and in this he fails somehow, since there is a lot of assumptions - if documents keep quiet, Dennison simply makes his own conclusions. Its almost as he pushes hard to prove Livia was in fact virtuous and nice person, but has no proof for it. He is perhaps right in pointing that later historians criticized her for simply being powerful and influential woman in man's world - she was definitely woman with privileged,aristocratic and educated background who knew very well how to play political game. Today's readers might find a lot about her cold and manipulative but we are too far removed from ancient Rome to grasp the picture of how it was to live back than. However, when Dennison tries to present Livia as nice person, I find her TV portrait far more fascinating. I rather have Livia sipping wine during dinner and listening conversation of her guests (to easier manipulate them later) than to spoon the wool or whatever housework roman wives were doing back than. 

Note: Interesting enough, until I started to read this book,it never occurred to me that Cleopatra's visit to Rome happened at the same time when Livia lived there and two of them actually might have meet in same circles.

"The Secret History of Lucifer" by Lynn Picknett

I didn't realize that both books I selected from a second-hand bookshop in London were written by the same author (Lynn Picknett) until I finished "Mary Magdalene" and turn my attention to "Lucifer" - nothing against Picknett, but her books basically cover very much the same territory and she can't help but often going back to books she wrote previously, for example going into details of Da Vinci/Shroud of Turin mystery no matter does it have anything to do with the subject or not.

Its a pity publishers felt it was necessary to add bombastic "Meaning of the true Da Vinci code" below her title because it has nothing to do with the whole Dan Brown issue. Pickett is fun and she does cover lot of "mysteries" but here also lies a biggest fault in her writing - too often she simply meanders, jumping from one subject to another without explaining how and why these chapters are connected at all. At the very beginning she connects Lucifer with ancient pagan Gods like Pan,Satyrs and such (and occasionally she got me thinking there lies a grain of truth in all this) but before going any deeper, off she would go into another century and speeding like pinball ball here, there and anywhere. Yes it is entertaining read but not very deep or should I say, serious. She crammed brazilian spiritualists, witch hunt, John the Baptist, Leonardo Da Vinci and Aleister Crowley in one big mix that somehow feels unfinished, unsorted and unedited. Picknett sounds very likable as a person and no doubt she might be very nice dinner guest, but her writing is unfocused.

My life since...

I was not writing this blog for a long time now for a simple reason that I embarked on a new ship (Brazil-bound) and workload was so unbelievable hard (17 hours daily,every day) that me & my colleagues hardly had time to rest, not to mention go outside for some fresh air or even do some ordinary things like wash our laundry - really,this was probably the hardest I was working so far and I have been doing cruise ships for ten years. Because ship was preparing for season in another continent, we were constantly getting mountains of new deliveries (30+ pallets every week) and these things needed to be pulled in our stores (with sweat dropping from me on the boxes), opened, checked,inventoried and put in some order while after 30 minutes break we were expected to open the shops showered, shaved, clean and smiling until closing time. This is how I lived for a month and half. Surprisingly enough, work was actually not a problem for me because I am doing this for a long time but what bothered me was absolute lack of time to rest + constant drills and training added to our already exhausting schedule. Like we have so much free time that something has to be done not to leave us bored. Security is all fine but when ship crew has FOUR drills weekly (and a "smile training" about customer service) it really means keeping people in constant vicious circle of obligations from the early morning to ungodly hours of 2 a.m. on daily basis. At certain point I really started to feel like I am in prison and this is some kind of punishment.

Anyhow, it's all changed now because lucky me I got transfered to another ship - goodbye Brazil and so long - my daily routine is a little less chaotic now (drills and training still here but not 17 hours daily) and I feel much better. I mean, we still work,push & pull but workload is much easier here and I actually have time to rest and go outside. 

Amazingly enough - I actually managed to read a few books along the way. I need to read,its my life-style and pleasure, even if it's just a half a page before sleep. Some of my colleagues relax by having a drink, others go to gym (on this ship,not on a previous) - me,I have my books & music. Movies are collected and sorted but I don't have time to watch them. So this is what I read, page by page & little by little since I came on the ship(s) mid-September...

"The Second Book of General Ignorance" is entertaining sequel to already famous and successful book full of funny little everyday trivia and questions about the facts we all think we know but in fact we might just got it wrong. It's very easy read and reader can easily enjoy chapter by chapter as they are not connected - I laughed out loud several times and loved it very much, reading this little book before sleep, it was just what I expected though not as original as the the first part. 

"Victorians" by Jeremy Paxman is interesting look at certain era when paintings were reflecting & shaping public opinions. In the days before TV, paintings were re-printed and sold by thousands, some gaining such notoriety, fame and success that people lined in front of museums and galleries to see them. It is very interesting book, discussing how public taste slowly changed and whatever effect Charles Dickens had achieved with his books, some painters helped with their art, pointing at lesser fortunate members of society. Some of these paintings were perhaps milking too much of sentiment but there were quite a few that actually honestly reflected reality. Very interesting read.

"A time to dance, a time to die" is about unusual and rarely known epidemics that hit central Europe in medieval times: people would suddenly start wildly dancing (apparently not from joy or happiness but like being obsessed, with feet bleeding and sweat pouring off them) and danced for days, many died along the way from exhaustion. Author discusses possible roots of this strange phenomenon and why people behaved like that - epidemic was eventually completely forgotten later but in old city archives we can still find documents about this. its interesting mainly as a look at long gone days when religion completely ruled people's every day lives so perhaps this was taken as a God's punishment.

"Mary Magdalene" by Lynn Picknett is interesting but not particularly original work about famous (notorious) Biblical reformed prostitute and her possible historical role - I read some of Picknett's previous work and she is clever author with a strong sense of humor (whenever one thinks book becomes very serious, she peppers the text with some witty sayings) so although there was nothing ground-breaking here (it seems we read the same authors) I enjoyed the book mainly because of her writing style and Picknett appears to be genuinely nice person. Considering the theme, she could have been preachy but in fact Picknett is gently self-sarcastic and not afraid to laugh at her own expense. I would probably enjoy anything by her at this point.

New destination

Everything ready & set for a new embarkation on my next ship. It will be another 6 months of sailing "where no man has gone before". In my case it actually means few places where I have not been so far, like Marseille (second largest city in France!) and perhaps South America later.

Now, ships and places are fine - to others it sounds very exciting because most of the people live lives full of routine and I wake up every morning in a different country. "Lucky you" I hear so often " always new people and new places" like I am some perpetual tourist drinking Pina Colada here and Sangria there."You don't have to pay the rent & bills" is another ubiquitous comment that shows people on land have completely twisted idea what is my life all about.The reality is different - ships would not import workers to have them enjoying the ships but to make sure little wheels are turning 24 hours a day while PASSENGERS are enjoying.From the cleaner who sweeps the stairs full of vomit to the chef in a kitchen, from a guy in casino who deals with drunken passengers to hairdressers, waiters, medical staff, accountants, shore excursion people, photographers and beyond, everybody works their asses off and daily manage working hours that by far exceeds anything known to people on land. I am sure that we probably do double of what people on land work, daily. And that is seven-days-a-week. Month after month. Passengers of course don't realize this and they often ask (good-naturedly) "So, do you get some days off now when we leave?" No, we pack you away and receive new passengers immediately the very same day. 

Very often I start my day around 8 a.m. and work straight trough until midnight. Interestingly enough, after a while body get used to it and we usually fall apart once we get home. I have a friend who sat in her garden and got a stroke. Yes, we are lucky to have jobs and we are paid relatively decent money compared what we would probably make at home but casualty are our swollen feat, lack of rest, nervousness and exhaustion. I can't count the times I was so beyond-the-tired that I was ready to quit - specially knowing "I will sleep and rest the day after tomorrow" - somehow actually I have managed to do this for almost a decade. So, no Pina Colada but work,work,work and than some more work. And than security drills. Which are necessary but they are hard to endure if one is exhausted and half-dead from lack of sleep. Have I mention that we don't have windows in our cabins? We live in the dark,with air conditioners and under artificial electric lights and if there is any possibility to actually go ashore, we all suffer under sunglasses. I am not writing this to complain - its my choice after all - just to make it clear, to whoever might be reading this, that cruise ship life is not for everybody, is not one never-ending fun adventure full of touristic excursions and sun but a hard, sweaty work without a day off for half a year. 

Am I looking forward to it? I am a tiny bit excited to visit some previously unknown places, to be honest. Never been to South America so far, if we don't count Panama where I didn't see much besides the pier and few crocodiles outside. Will I actually have chance to see these places? Who knows? To be realistic, there is a very big chance I will be so swarmed with workload that a view from the ship might be all I will get. Deep in my heart I only hope that I will have enough time to sleep and rest because body can only take so much. But I'm going prepared mentally that it will be not Pina Colada all the way and who knows, I might actually manage just fine.

Grupa More debut LP (1974)

Truly classic 1970s pop album that definitely reserved its recent re-release on CD.

"More" (The Sea) was excellent group from Split, where many later-famous musicians got their start. On this particular album vocal duties were given to young Meri Cetinić (who was great) but she was certainly not the only one who shone as a member - if you check out their discography, you might find Oliver Dragojević, Doris Dragović and even Jasmin Stavros in a gang. 

Its a gentle,acoustic pop and dreamy, contemplative single was a monster hit - perhaps annoying a bit as refrain was mercilessly repeated just in case listener forgets what is the title of the song - music is what one would expect from a bunch of young,romantic people, soft, lovelorn and romantic.  Young Meri Cetinić in her pre-schlager fame was truly a soulful singer and she pours her heart out in some gentle ballads while the guys play really good behind her. Two very good Santana-like instrumentals are surprisingly nice touch and point at high level of musicianship - nothing to be ashamed of here, these are not just some commercial jingle hacks but really strong players who love music. Considering where Croatian music moved during the next few decades it makes one think what happened to real music like this? Very last song is "Horizont" and is perhaps the best thing on the album - combination of instrumental and wordless chorus that hums the melody after haunting flute intro is truly anthemic and unforgettable - than, splash of the waves (just like the very first sounds we heard on the album) and this beautiful little album is finished. What a jewel. 

It's an album that could only have been done by young people still passionate about the music they love - later, as they all turned into "professionals", all of these artists got into some compromises and results were predictably lukewarm. That is why this debut LP is so important, to save the memory of the beginning when inspiration was high and real music still in their veins. Even now, decades later, for many of the artists involved this is the best thing they ever did. 

Tina live in Europe (1988)

Turner had enjoyed huge and deserved success in the 1980s , well documented on this double CD (originally double vinyl LP) that has material from two tours combined into one release. One can actually see both of them as they were released on VHS tapes at the time, it was "Private dancer tour" (1985) and "Break every rule tour" (1986) - as everything else,it was masterminded by australian manager Roger Davies who used the opportunity to sell "new" live album while new studio release was still just being planned. Millions of fans around the world did not mind (me included) because it was a souvenir of exciting concert performances where Turner finally exploded into full-blown stadium attraction.

Not that it was the first live album for Turner who was recorded live as early as mid-1960s during those legendary "chitlin' circuit" years and beyond - interesting as those early performances were from a historical point of view, they would not attract young audience who probably could not care less for old r&b nuggets she sang way back than. Davies achieved something truly spectacular in its scope, he somehow managed to re-invent the old veteran and present her as completely new artist with a fresh material that charted and sold in truckloads. There is a certain irony that Turner is perceived as a woman who did it "on her own" away from domineering husband, where in fact it is clear her career was always led by someone else - she delivered the goods, men would arrange the business. Neither Ike no Davies could kick those legs in high hells across the stage night after night, on the other hand Turner needed someone to point the right direction. The post-divorce years in wilderness without recording contract are proof on that.

Music wise it plays on Turner's 1980s material - she was lucky enough to get completely new repertoire and did not fall into "oldies" trap. One can clearly hear her happiness attacking than-curent pop hits and leaving 1960s completely behind. Its completely other question are these bombastic top charts actually better than old stuff - "Typical Male" and "Mad Max" movie theme might shook the charts and were what audience expected & wanted but its Ike-years where her legend was cemented,if you ask me. That is perhaps why her 1980s stuff pales next to excitement and passion of second part of this "live" album where Turner finally attacks some old 1960s soul covers - pop ditties are all fine but when she tears trough covers of "Land Of 1,000 Dances" and "In The Midnight Hour" the music & audience truly erupts in a frenzy - it is also a reminder what a spectacular r&b screamer she always was in the heart, true old-school grit in the league of the classic soul greats.

All this 1980s synthesizers-cellophane and celebrity duets were perhaps inevitable compromise that did not hurt her commercial appeal - after all Roger Davies did admirable job on establishing her as a star attraction of first order. But listen for yourself all those pop ditties and than turn to something like old Sam Cooke song "A Change Is Gonna Come" (backed with Robert Cray on guitar) and tell me where Turner's heart lies. She knows how to play a game - Bowie and such extra guests are just frills and decorations, if you are not aware of this than you miss the whole point of who Turner is.

"Legend: The Genesis of civilization" by David Rohl

Exciting,interesting and informative book that I am enjoying very slowly because I don't want it to end - and can only take in small doses, since amount of informations is so huge that  I need some time to think about it. Call it "Biblical archeology" if you want. While scientists and academics usually dismiss Old Testament as a myth, David Rohl goes for kill and travels the world wondering "what if?" - he is not just some pseudo-amateur,mind you, guy has degree in Egyptology,Ancient History and has few other feathers on his cap, including being Director of the Institute for the Study of Interdisciplinary Sciences, official support of University of London and University College - his books are best sellers and he is the man behind TV documentary "Pharaohs and Kings: A Biblical Quest" - what is unusual about Rohl is that he is really passionate about his research and allows possibility that perhaps behind the myth there IS a historical truth. 

"Legend" puts the question: what if Old Testament actually keeps a memory of beginning of our civilization? He points that "Genesis" is in its original Hebrew form actually called different ("In the beginning") and that is typical for much older Mesopotamian practice of naming the text by the first words of the narrative - in other words, we might have actually look at far older documents that were eventually with time transferred to tribes of Moses. All through the book Rohl plays with the idea that true cradle of humanity lies in todays Middle East from where civilization have sprung to not-so-distant places around. The first bomb he throws at as is location of Garden of Eden: described in Bible as placed between four rivers (we know two,Tigris and Euphrat) he identifies the other two that in the meantime had changed names and places it in what is Iran today - it used to be rich valley and is deserted place today, destroyed by industrialization. 

Just think about it - whatever places Old Testament describes must have been simply a "world" of people who lived in that area way back than. When Adam and his descendants were exiled from Eden, fierce angels with swords kept the entrance of Eden protected - Rohl explains that tribes who lived in the surrounding mountains had local shamans dressed up in feathers (angels/feathers/wings?) and they would fight against any intruders who might travel to their territory. He describes great migration that eventually resulted in big cities of Sumer, archeological evidence that people moved from Zagros mountains to Mesopotamia and as they came "down from the mountain" (Eden) they built huge cities like Ur,Eridu and Uruk - catastrophic flood described in Bible moved the centre of civilization from one place to another and as people stopped worshipping old Gods, Jahwe came to be known (but in earlier times he was called Enki). The story of God cursing the builders of Babel tower might simply hide something that really happen on a different level - what was a single religion in the times before the flood, became multi-God separation that brought tribes to wars later.

Rohl explains how Noah's sons created three different lines of tribes (Japeth,Ham and Shem) that would eventually cover such diverse territories as Greece,Egypt and Assyria. He than goes in a detail about the place I never heard before - island of Bahrai in Persian Gulf where sea water mingles with river (and one can drink fresh water in the middle of the sea!) and where there are literary thousands of unexplained ancient graves spread around the desert. No one clearly knows who built them, why there are there (its a small island and never had such a huge population) and most of them were never even used. But pottery finds have engraved images of Mesopotamian God! And there are clear indications that this might have been sacred place for Sumerians who lived thousands of miles away, naming it "Dilbun" by some far older tradition that remembers legendary place in the mountains where ancestors first came from. 

Right now I am kind of half-way of the book and the story has moved to ancient Egypt where Rohl connects roots of their civilization with much older Mesopotamia - there are clear indications that some old intruders had come from far away with a ships (there are countless mysterious paintings of ships pulled trough the desert!) and brought their tradition, letters and Gods with them. Egyptians called them "people from the land of God" but in fact they might be legendary Phoenicians who introduced new technologies to the Nile valley including achitecture (high towers) and letters, not to mention Gods like Horus who was known in Mesopotamia as flood hero Atrahasis. 

Its a book I am enjoying very slowly because I don't want to finish it. I approached it with curiosity because usually I don't take seriously everything that is printed but Rohl has such intelligent and passionate way with his subject and he is obviously so well informed that I am completely under his spell Excellent book!

Teddy Bear

If you visited this blog, you probably wondered what is the thing with a little traveling Teddy Bear.

This Teddy Bear was given to me many years ago by accidental tourist, when I lived in Amsterdam and worked at hotel reception. It's probably a kind of souvenir toy one can buy at the airport, mine has a Maple leaf on its paw, real canadian Teddy. Now, I don't remember ever having a toys - apparently I had some as a small toddler but I do remember having books and making up my own toys: cities built from books, little people (kings,queens,soldiers) drawn on pieces of paper. This is not because I lived in desperate poverty but because I preferred to use my own imagination and create my toys out of nothing than to have something already made. However, this little funny Teddy found a place on my bookshelf and lived there quite nicely until I started to pack my suitcase and decided to work on cruise ships - in a spur of the moment, I decided Teddy goes with me, he will see the world finally. For many years he is my traveling companion. I have tiny room always shared with somebody and he lives on my bookshelf. Sometime I take him out with me to have a picture of him looking at the world. Apparently I am not the only one because a lot of people on the ship have their own little pets like this one. He always travel in my backpack because I don't want to risk having him lost with a suitcase somewhere. The only time ever I was afraid for him was when I ended up in hospital with Appendicitis operation and my luggage was brought in a hospital - I was in a bed with tubes attached to my arms and could not move, was wondering did they pack my Teddy in a suitcase. At certain point I couldn't stand uncertainty anymore and although it was dangerous for me to lift anything heavy so soon after the operation, I crawled out of bed and fiddled with a really heavy suitcase just to check is he there somewhere - he was!

Right now he is here, sharing my space no matter where I roam. He is a world-class traveler, had seen places like Australia, Alaska, South Africa, Caribbean Islands, Canary Islands, most of the cities along Mediterranean and Baltic coasts. Yes, we have visited Canada together. He does not have name except "Teddy Bear" and I don't sleep with him, his place is always on a bookshelf. Just as I need my own space,he needs his - kind of my little alter ego. Recently I noticed he had a small piece of cloth attached with name of the company that made him - "Maplefoot babies" - even found a picture of his little relatives on the web. For a moment thought about cutting it off, than I decided no, if he lived with it for so many years, let him have it. He is small enough to fit into palm of my hand so its not difficult to have him around and I really get a kick of taking a picture of him around the world. Probably somewhere unconsciously I think he is little me. 

Naturally my colleagues know about him - sometimes they give me other bears like presents, I am thankful and glad but they never travel with me because I can't travel around with a Teddy Bear family. He is the first and the only Teddy Bear. I am looking forward to a time when my nomadic life would finally settle in some regular dry-land routine and Teddy will finally find a real home. I am usually not attached to anything material - all my stuff is always spread around in different countries and sometimes I even buy several editions of the same book because I forgot that I already bought it, however Teddy Bear is my irreplaceable little companion, he does not harm anyone and just lives quietly, I love my Teddy Bear.

Once I get my own place, he will have the whole shelf for himself.

Birthday

On the first day of September I officially became 43 years old.

Nothing much to celebrate here - as a kid, this day was usually ignored because it happened during initial start of the school - I do remember some kiddies birthday parties but once I hit the puberty it wasn't celebrated at all. For most of my adult life it was something to mention in passing to my friends & colleagues who couldn't believe I take it so nonchalantly. I clearly remember some party I visited in Amsterdam just because I turned 30 and how I celebrated quietly with a lunch in Lisbon few years ago when I became 40. Big deal. 

This year was the same - if anything,what years have brought me is some inner confidence and realization of what makes ME happy as opposite to following the crowd. If crowd goes left, I will probably turn right. If the whole Amsterdam drinks and celebrates Gay Pride on the streets, I avoid the crowd and go out of town to enjoy museums in Hague. I learned to enjoy my solitary hobbies, relax in my own company without being bored and always have something interesting to do - even just lying down and reading without "having" to do anything. Sometimes accepting life for what it is - not some huge,strange mystery but random happenings where one can either enjoy or get stressed. Accepting that not everybody is the same and that for many people what I find normal and logical is not so. Even better - that I don't have to explain to the others why and how - let them be. I do my thing, you do yours. 

Years have been kind more or less in a sense that I had not turned into hunchback but naturally wear and tear is showing,which is not the most important thing. Waist-line is not like decades ago but eyes are still sparkling and brain still works. Appendicitis operation showed me that we can never 100% decide what will happen because body is a machine that needs occasional nurturing and care, that is why I don't bother with going out in the sun (it does not suits me) and gladly enjoy every coffee, cigarette and lunch when inspiration takes over. Nothing better than sitting in some foreign town and ordering Irish Coffee because I can. Just being nice to myself. 

I am loner by nature. Lived on my own for so many years that I accepted it as natural state of life - when I was younger I did like everybody else and tortured myself with romantic possibilities, not so much from conviction that this is something good for me,but because we are all brainwashed with magazines and movies that people need to constantly be in love. Now at this point I don't believe in it. Some people are simply born to live alone and there is nothing tragic about it. There are friends that make me laugh and enrich my life, occasional affairs that prove I am still capable of getting weak in the knees but honestly I am clear-eyed about the whole thing and need my own space. Looking around me at so many relationships where someone always pulls the leash I came to conclusion that it does not work for me - the moment when someone starts to scream for attention, I step back forever. Many times its difficult to step back without hurting the person but I never give false signals and don't play with anybody's feelings because I believe it all comes back to you - however, they are some people who drain my energy and I try not to get caught in that. It's simply not necessary. We are company because we enjoy each other,having fun, laughing or inspiring each other - if not, I am perfectly happy just writing or reading my book.

Many times I was in love but still enjoyed visiting museum on my own without a need to hold hands 24 hours a day.

Where do I see myself in the future? The health is the most important obviously - I will work as long as body permits because material possessions and career were never my priority. As for hopes and dreams, we will see,nothing can be arranged and decided definitely. I don't see myself ever raising a family because old habits die hard and I don't want obligations,sacrifices and everything that family includes - looking back at my own childhood I see how traumatizing it can reflect on a kid and I don't want to find myself in a situation that I am tired or not in the mood. If 90% of humanity raises families, there is still 10% of us who can live without wishing for it. As years go I feel more confident about what is good for me and what is not. I might drop dead tomorrow from heart attack. Or I might live some 20 years more quietly reading my books, writing my diary and simply being nice to people around me. To be honest, life really started at 30 for me so there is no reason why it shouldn't continue upwards. These last several years were spent in a brutal work on a cruise ships where I did a lot of traveling but at the same time tested the limits of human endurance because its definitely not fun working 16 hours daily, week after week and still being at work at 4 a.m. thinking "I will sleep day after tomorrow". Sometimes I think that it would be better for me to sell Hot Dog and live relaxed than to earn money like this. Than I go out for a walk somewhere in Tenerife and think life is good.

Life is good, if you know how to notice it.