A New Year

Dear reader, we are in 2021.

I have entered it very cautiously - quietly sneaked in, almost like a thief, without any celebrations or big words.

We had all of that last year and look what happened. This is why I find it inappropriate to make big fuss of it when in fact we have absolutely zero control over what is going on and repeated parroting phrases "Happy New Year" means nothing, its like the only thing people know to say to each other. Not that 2020 was especially difficult for me - I had some bad years before - but this was the first time that I was aware of the whole world going trough same difficulties. The whole world had to go underground and lick its wounds. 

What 2020 did, it showed us clearly how much we took everything for granted - social contacts, walks, our freedom, just ordinary everyday pleasures of hanging out together in the sun. This was all taken from us and I noticed with regret how even people on the street avoided contact with each other. You can't help the elderly lady with her shopping bags, because your compassion might actually kill her. If some mad scientist from old SF movies planned to mess up the human race, this is something he would come up with. That we would become afraid of each other and avoid embraces, hugs and kisses. That people will hide behind their walls in a perpetual solitude. It will leave scars on all of us. 

We have absolutely no control over what is happening but we do have control over how we react - and to keep some kind of equilibrium, each of us must find his own way how to stay calm and positive. Some people turn to meditation, religion, music, hobbies, anything that will keep them occupied. I discovered how much I am enjoying my solitary walks and browsing through the old streets - admiring the old, forgotten streets and houses full of history. Naturally I miss the real human contact but it seems that people are hiding and avoiding any socialising. We are forced to twinkle in the dark for now.

No resolutions, since life is difficult already without any enforced obligations. There is absolutely nothing genuinely important - everything is so trivial and irrelevant when compared to the main question: when and how will the life go back to some form of normality. I do wish that somehow I discipline myself into going back to reading, because it was really important part of my life and somehow the virtual world seduced me instead - I just lost the passion for reading somehow - but naturally, all these hobbies are not really essential, they are just distractions. Joni Mitchell once said, when asked how does she wants to be remembered, that her legacy is simply a pleasant distraction and I thought how interesting, this is really true - music, movies and books are distractions and comfort, but they are not reality - reality is the life around us, friends we have, conversations and laughter we share. Anyway, I started reading something already last night.