30.3.20

Topsy Turvy


So it came that our lives changed beyond anything we were expecting or even imagining in our worst nightmares.
Immeasurably and drastically, but its not like we were not being warned. 
My virtual conversations and diary entries were mentioning a strange Corona virus already back in January when it was still just news about something going on far away - however, the news were getting bigger and bigger, more alarming with each day and I clearly remember buying hand sanitisers at the start of February for me and all my hotel reception colleagues. Those who back than didn't even know or care why am I bring hand sanitisers to work are now the most paranoid, as it goes. The most infuriating thing is how little world care for anything that is not happening to them - we could bluntly call it for what it is, a first world syndrome because general public apparently don't really care for something over there. Well, this is a wake up call. There is no over there, we are all in the same pickle. 

I got sick overnight. One day I felt completely fine and was re-assured by team meeting at my work where somebody from local hospital came to give us some instructions and to explain that we have nothing to worry about and virus is not airborne, in fact it can't even survive on surfaces, it has to be transmitted via cough and such. How could he have been so sure, I can't tell because right now, few weeks after this, we think it actually can live on surfaces for a while. So Monday I am fine, sining and cooking and thinking how bad that my work is closing for two weeks but I will have a nice rest, Tuesday I am burning with a fever. Without going in too much details, on Wednesday I ended up in hospital and they diagnosed me with THE virus. Since hospitals are full of elderly people moaning, groaning and croaking, the hospital staff decided that they need space for emergency cases so I was sent home to recover. No medicine or any other instructions, because nobody knows anything for sure. 

Luckily, I have space to isolate and good friends who brought me food, so we talked trough closed doors. Internet helped, although to be honest I could probably survive without it just fine, since at some point I discovered that obsessing about news has actually negative effect on me. Being informed is one thing, getting all stressed out and worried is another. So the moment I felt better, I made myself busy with the most mundane tasks, cleaning, washing, scrubbing etc, just to keep away from the statistics, numbers of dead and pictures of coffins. There were times that the avalanche of bad news (combined with ambulance cars screaming in the deserted streets outside) made me weep, but most of the time I was just drowsy and exhausted from a fever. I was constantly in touch with a hospital via phone application where I sent them my daily info about current status, interestingly enough they were not worried about my fever at all but inquired about short breath which for them is much more alarming (I had no other symptoms except high fever). 

After roughly a week, my fever has gone completely. I am still isolated - nowhere to go anyway since the life outside has stopped - but feeling much, much better and in fact my main concern right now is that I might turn into hippopotamus. Since nobody knows anything for sure, I actually don't know am I immune, am I still contagious, am I  vampire or a zombie right now. Checking the news and nothing about the people who have recovered, its all about dead and coffins and more dead. I have no more fever, no cough, no problems with breathing or anything such. I might have been one of the lucky people who have strong immune system and have recovered by themselves. Can I catch it again? No one knows. I talked to a doctor on the phone this morning and asked can I visit a elderly neighbour, they think its not a good idea, even though my fever has gone a week ago. 

SO to keep myself a bit busy with something, i decided to stay positive and will continue my scribbling here about books & music & movie stars & poetry & anything that might keep me occupied so I don't obsess with the bad news. I am very much aware how comfortable most of us are at the moment, so being at home with Wi Fi and music is not like the worst thing that could happen. Above is the photo of my little coffee plant that I carried from home to work and back again. 

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