Compassion

Recently I have visited Split and after I finished all the business I had in mind (because my travels are rarely without things to do like obligatory banks, post offices, work materials, keys and such) on my way back to the port I was stopped by a obviously embarrassed young man asking for a small change as he was stranded without enough for a bus fare. 

Now, I am first to give small change away, left & right, to anyone who asks.

Not because I am naive or stupid or because I have millions to give away but because I truly believe that compassion is the most important thing in our lives. It is something I feel with deepest conviction at the very core of my whole being and everything else is our own little preoccupation, our private little world focused on ourselves - our friendships, loves, family, colleagues, plans and ambitions - but showing a compassion to a fellow human being (or animal, for that matter) is where a person shows his quality or lack of it. Often I was shocked to encounter homeless people or beggars in the streets of so call metropolises around the world, where thousands of people ignored them and just passed by without a glance, where perhaps a small donation would mean a world to these unfortunate people. And I don't care a fig for cynical voices advising me not to bother "because he is just a lazy, professional beggar" or "you know, he is just pretending, he got more money than you can imagine", I always help whenever I can and often later I laugh at myself because it is this given coin that I miss when its my turn to pay in a shop counter but I don't care. I believe in Karma + it makes me feel good that perhaps I have helped someone. Not just beggars, sometimes I simply gave a small gift of candy to my cabin cleaner or that tired bartender on my ship, without a particular reason except to cheer them up and show them they are not alone in this world, somebody noticed them and understand them. Often friends would ask me why did I give a coin to the beggar woman circling the coffee terrace tables, "because I can see this is a person down on her luck and I see it in her eyes" is my answer. It is oh-so-easy to judge and smirk at people less fortunate, who might have all sorts of problems but I also think there is a very thin line between you sitting there with your coffee and that beggar next to your table - the roles can switch suddenly and they do. As for professional beggars, come on people, this is not Charles Dickens, this is real world, show me one person who would rather walk around in the wind and the rain than having some sort of security and comfortable place to work & live. I remember seeing TV news about homeless man sleeping in cemetery (because this was the only place he could find) and it upset me so much, I was thinking each night about him as I snuggled in the warmth of my bed and it was freezing November outside, until I contacted TV station and found a way to send him some money for the at least temporary rent.

Back to my Split guy. I didn't have any money with me because everything was already spent on post office, documents, extra keys and such but as I answered, something in his eyes - silent expression of bitterness, another disappointment, embarrassment, one more rejection - struck me deeply and suddenly I remembered similar situation many years ago, when I should have reacted but did not and regretted ever since. No doubt the similar guy from years ago was genuine, so was this one - I could feel it - his clothes were no dirty and he seemed truly nice person stranded without a money for the bus, which can happen to anybody. So off I went to the ship, turned my pockets inside out, found nothing, knocked on the next door, borrowed money from a colleague and run outside where my guy was already slowly walking away from the port because no luck here. When I called him back and gave him money (and spoke his language) he was actually so surprised and relieved that he started to cry - it turned out he was bound for Međugorje and this being famous religious centre, he must have thought that his prayers were answered. Perhaps they were. This money did not mean absolutely nothing to me because I work and can earn it but to this person right now it was a huge favour that helped him to get on a bus. And I believe 100% that he was genuine, because I could feel & see it on him. I was young and penniless once, in my student days (though I must admit that I bore it with smile and was always cheerful back than, because I kind of saw myself as bohemian and loved the feeling of going trough life with empty pockets) so I know how it is. I floated back on the ship, happy with myself and feeling good about the whole thing - what a lucky chance that I found him just as he was leaving - the only thing bothering me that there were really a lot of people returning to the ship and absolutely nobody helped him, though just one coin would have been help already - I  mean, thousands of these old farts passengers just thought about the heat, their own feet, big asses and cool air condition waiting for them and nobody stopped to help a person asking for a darn coin - which I'm sure they had, otherwise they wouldn't be on a cruise trough Mediterranean. I am also 100% sure they would pass by without helping either me or you if we are drowning, so many people today simply smirk and say something cynical (just check comments bellow the news articles) that as much as I believe in humanity, something tells me people like you and me are actually exceptions rather than a rule. One in a hundred would help, would pull you out of the water, majority would just look and mind their business and hurry home for lunch.

Sometimes I wish some volcanic eruption combined with flood and meteorite just blows the humans away once for all and leave the planet to animals and plants. Even animals have helping instincts. The older I get, the more I prefer animals to people.