Amsterdam

I brought the sun with me in Amsterdam and the old city suddenly came to life in all it's glowing glory, with thousands of tourists roaming around and enjoying coffee on sunny terraces . The atmosphere here is so powerful, so special, that Berlin and Budapest seem simply gray in comparison. Music, laughter, crowd, a streetcars rushing by , the little bistro on canal, the quaint dutch architecture - it all makes my heart leaps with joy as I walk trough my favorite corners and soak in the lively charm everywhere around me.

Of course, locals are spoiled and not even aware how lucky they are. They constantly complain about one thing or the other, the tourists, noise, politics, prices, weather and what not - not one of my acquaintances is satisfied and they all tend to moan while I listen in disbelief. I would gladly peel potatoes just to live here, however politics don't allow it so for now I simply have to accept this bitter truth that as Croatian I am kindly welcomed to visit and spend my money here, but absolutely not permitted to live & work in Netherlands. Not even as a garbage collector. The cruelty of being legally branded as outsider from the world I don't belong makes me question the whole point of my Don Quixote fight with the windmills - my friends in Amsterdam live their comfortable lives without ever having to work 16 hours daily, the way I do on cruise ships week after week, months and years away. Perhaps I simply need to close the wrong door and dreams that had me bedazzled too long - if I'm not wanted here, maybe I should look elsewhere.