The Return to the ships

It happened fast and caught me by surprise - basically I got an offer on Thursday to join the ship on Saturday. The carrot that dangled in front of my nose was the possibility to work with a friendly manager and already familiar team/environment. Even the ship is identical to the ones I worked on before. My plans were different - some more vacation, perhaps a trip to London and return to Croatia - but after I had shower & shave & coffee I realised this is indeed a very good offer. To miss this one would mean I might fall into some sadistic hands instead later. And in all honesty, why not taking this offer now, since I already had a nice, long vacation + EU blocks me from re-locating in Amsterdam so return to the ships is inevitable. It casted dark clouds above my whole vacation so let's better face the reality. And I accepted.

It took me only one day to buy suit/ ties/ shirts/ shoes and to pack my luggage for the night train to Copenhagen. Of course I went to my favourite bookshop and bought enough books to keep me busy for a while - I bought books before I got anything else. Since I had to lave so quickly & unexpectedly, I did not had time to actually meet almost half of my friends in Amsterdam. People are very relaxed there and don't understand that I have limited time on dry land - "sure, we'll meet next week" they all said nonchalantly while in the meantime I would already have to go. The presents I collected for them are still unpacked in my suitcase.

I am on a new ship now. Old friends, familiar faces, same rules, working hours, same food, same windowless tiny cabin. Another eternity of drills, standing, packing and unpacking the boxes, inventories, very late nights and early mornings, swollen feet. This is my joyless life now until end of the year.

Amsterdam

I brought the sun with me in Amsterdam and the old city suddenly came to life in all it's glowing glory, with thousands of tourists roaming around and enjoying coffee on sunny terraces . The atmosphere here is so powerful, so special, that Berlin and Budapest seem simply gray in comparison. Music, laughter, crowd, a streetcars rushing by , the little bistro on canal, the quaint dutch architecture - it all makes my heart leaps with joy as I walk trough my favorite corners and soak in the lively charm everywhere around me.

Of course, locals are spoiled and not even aware how lucky they are. They constantly complain about one thing or the other, the tourists, noise, politics, prices, weather and what not - not one of my acquaintances is satisfied and they all tend to moan while I listen in disbelief. I would gladly peel potatoes just to live here, however politics don't allow it so for now I simply have to accept this bitter truth that as Croatian I am kindly welcomed to visit and spend my money here, but absolutely not permitted to live & work in Netherlands. Not even as a garbage collector. The cruelty of being legally branded as outsider from the world I don't belong makes me question the whole point of my Don Quixote fight with the windmills - my friends in Amsterdam live their comfortable lives without ever having to work 16 hours daily, the way I do on cruise ships week after week, months and years away. Perhaps I simply need to close the wrong door and dreams that had me bedazzled too long - if I'm not wanted here, maybe I should look elsewhere.

Impressions of Berlin

I liked Berlin far more than Budapest.

It was rainy when I arrived but I was still excited to be here - somehow even without map I found my way to Museum Island (the main reason why I came) and checked out magnificent Pergamon Museum with re-constructed greek temple, doors of ancient Roman city market and (the best of all) Ishtar Gate of Babylon - that was truly spectacular.

 Since weather was rainy, I made up my mind to visit a museum per day - it worked quite nice, I got myself a 3-days ticket for Museum Island and saw a lot of beautiful art - Nefertiti, ancient Egyptian, Greek and Roman sculptures, lots of beautiful paintings and later I have visited Berlin's Film Museum where they have lovely exhibition about 1920s and 1930s german movies (that I always loved) + Marlene Dietrich collection from her private archives - her costumes, clothes, make up box, letters, telegrams... fascinating. I was very happy to be there.

 Jewish Museum was in my neighborhood so I checked it out yesterday - it was a very strange experience. Besides being very depressing and emotional story (basically there is almost nothing happy or uplifting here, its a long saga of prosecution, humiliation and survival trough centuries) and I cried quite often while walking trough - but I was prepared for this - the surprise was in architectural design of the building's basement, where architects purposely wanted visitors to feel strange, off-balance and displaced - they accomplished this by building walls and floor just a little leaning in wrong direction (in a very clever, discreet way) so as visitors walks in (unprepared) he start to lose the ballance very soon and feels sick, scared and threatened - which is how most of the jews felt. There are also doors leading to "Holocaust tower" and inside are just empty, gloomy walls, the whole space is one huge feeling of fear and death, strange how they managed to do this.

 Berlin is mostly completely rebuilt after WW2 and I actually like it because of that - you still sense this is old town with tradition, history and story behind it, but streets are built nicely, buildings are impressive and even huge amount of tourists can't camouflage the fact that locals are basically nice people. They wait politely on the street lights, greet warmly on the stairs and I have impression they are polite. The weather has been mostly always cloudy and rainy so I didn't look out for night life or anything else besides my cultural interests - I usually walked 7-8 hours daily and was tired in the evenings, when I would simply relax with my music, computer and museum book guides. Can't believe that I travelled trough Budapest and Berlin without actually experiencing night life, but it simply didn't interest me. I am officially getting old.