"Bohemian Rhapsody" by Bryan Singer (2018)

This is something I had in mind for quite some time and was overjoyed when friends invited me spontaneously for a evening in a cinema. I was never really fan of rock band Queen but as a teenager growing up in the 1980s I was sure aware how big they were and their hits played non stop on the radio. Hearing good things about the movie, I was curious to experience it for myself and was pleasantly surprised how carefully the filmmakers treated the subject of flamboyant singer's life - everything was shown but not exactly in your face and luckily the focus was not a list of dirty laundry but the circumstances in which he lived, the media pressure, the backstage intrigues, the loyalty between band members and what kept them together. Flamboyant Freddie Mercury was the band's most recognisable trademark and movie is mainly focused on him, in this case he was very faithfully portrayed by young Rami Malek who did an excellent job by showing him as nervous, highly energetic personality probably tortured by his inner demons and surrounded by usual gang of sycophants - nothing unusual for that particular lifestyle and something we could probably expect.

I was particularly impressed how the movie realistically reconstructed band's phenomenal performance on legendary Live Aid concert in 1985 - I watched it myself on TV and remember how sensational guys were, Mercury had actually commanded stadium audience like he was born to do it and thousands of people responded as he was some conductor, making them sing along and clap hands in unison. Two concerts were organised simultaneously, Freddie Mercury was the highlight of the one in UK, while personally I would say that duet of Mick Jagger and Tina Turner was the highlight of the concert across Atlantic. 

Curiously, I read some comments and opinions that movie was not gritty enough and that it could have focused more on dark side of Mercury's private life, but I think these people miss the point completely. Mercury passed away in 1991 (at the age of 45!) and why dragging him trough the mud just for the sake of entertainment (or curiosity) - we know how he died and what he died from, its not necessary to go into details here, besides the movie ends on a positive note so that was just fine by me. Biographies, memoirs and biopics are not a dirty laundry list but a story about someones life and surely there is more to Freddie Mercury than his death, for which he seems to have been remembered. Before he died, he was also one of the biggest rock stars in the world and this is how I chose to remember him.

"First Man" by Damien Chazelle (2018)

Because I enjoyed my recent excursion to cinema, I decided it might be good idea to use my spare time and enjoy some more movies. Biopic of legendary astronaut Neil Armstrong seemed like interesting proposition and not so long ago I read about him with greatest interest, so even though I was lolling around after a dinner and considered just staying in, I forced myself to get up, get dressed and get out of the house, simply for the sake of taking a walk and doing something. 

It was underwhelming.

And I know exactly why - movies about historical characters can sometimes be too respectful, to the point where in order to be correct and deferential, these affairs just end up bland. We see the actors, we understand who are they supposed to be but its all kind of lukewarm chamomile tea and the main focus mostly symbolises real people, while occasional supporting actors have much more meat to them. This, cinematic Neil Armstrong is silent hero, unable to show his emotions and director Damien Chazelle clearly worships the idea of manly struggle to stay strong and taciturn. His private world is falling apart, little daughter dies from cancer, colleagues and good friends are also dying in all sorts of accidents but instead of talking with his wife about it, he pushes everybody away and stares at the moon, his face showing no emotions whatsoever. Not sure what I think about Ryan Gosling who might have just followed director's instructions but this was a portrait of extremely reserved man who hardly ever cracked a smile - I guess if you are hero, than you take everything very seriously and can't talk to your children a night before journey from which you might never return (the movie has his wife forcing him to do this). Claire Foy as his wife has much more humanity because she is actually showing natural emotions: she is aware of dangers all the astronauts wives face, the responsibilities of raising a family and the possibility that her husband might never come back. Quote: "All these protocols and procedures to make it seem like you have it under control. But you're a bunch of boys making models out of balsa wood! You don't have anything under control!"

With all the visual effects and gritty, realistic scenes of what it feels like in a super-mega-shaky spacecraft, somehow the whole idea of space race and launching a moon expedition seemed a bit pointless to me - it was obviously a big deal in that time and a matter of political power but looking at all those astronauts who were dying left & right in accidents and leaving their families behind seems less heroic and more suicidal to me. I understand these people were living their dream and there is a huge pride in being part of something so monumental, however I am not some impressionable teenager now and looking from this perspective I see husbands leaving families behind - not completely convinced that sacrificing life for anything is really worth it. The movie depicts Armstrong silently suffering daughter's death but in reality, if things turned out differently she could have been just another fatherless child like so many others. 

The only thing that I truly enjoyed was inclusion of beautiful, old 1947. recording by Les Baxter in the movie's soundtrack - being lover of all things old & strange, naturally I was familiar with it, in fact I might even have the recording somewhere.

"Maria by Callas" documentary by Tom Volf (2017)

Back in the day when I actually used to live here initially, one of my favourite spots in town was Filmmuseum in Vondelpark - they would screen classic movies and retrospectives of famous directors/movie stars and the whole experience was beautiful because it was usually combined with a walk trough beautiful park right in the centre of the city + small screen halls welcomed the audience that was genuinely interested in such movies. In 2012 the place eventually moved elsewhere and I had huge problem with changing my habit, since new location was in completely different part of town. I understand they needed bigger place for their archives and wanted to expand their audience but personally I just couldn't make myself travelling with a ferry across the water into new modern building that was highly praised but to me it lacked the charm of the old pavilion. Last night, however, I did made an effort because of this new documentary that I really wanted to see. My friends and me were all unfamiliar with the place so it was fun to discover it together for the fist time - the ferry crossing was easy peasy (and free), the journey lasted perhaps only 5 minutes from Central Station, it wasn't really as bad as I believed all these years. 

"Maria by Callas" is obviously a labour of love by director Tom Volf and it has found surprisingly faithful and loving audience here, but this is what I expected from the city that always had affection for culture. It has been showing around town for quite some time and still the cinemas are full, which is wonderful considering this is a documentary and not some big blockbuster. It combines old clips of Callas performances with interviews, news clips and her own letters so it gives a close look at who this legendary woman might have been in a real life. In the post WW2 world she was a phenomenon and media often exaggerated her image as impossible, temperamental diva who cancel performances on the whim but the documentary points that she was highly praised professional who simply refused to be treated like a circus attraction and refused to be pushed around. In fact, for all her alleged prima donna behaviour it seems she was actually very patient and controlled until stress gets her lashing out, which is perfectly understandable for anybody in such position - she was expected to focus on performances and give her best in situation which were not arranged and her fury was not at the colleagues but at the management that provided no adequate rehearsals (often she would not even seen costumes or scenery before actually stepping on a stage).

The movie kind of depicts her story as tragic but I disagree.

Every body's life can be described as tragic one if we focus only on sad things - Callas had huge happiness in a life filled with music, she loved her work and it gave her adoration by millions around the world. Her work was admired, what she offered was spectacularly praised and she will be forever known as the ultimate opera singer of her generation. True, she sacrificed family life for the professional one but it seems she accepted it with grace, besides this is what many other artists also did, she was not the only one. The much-publicised affair with Onassis is a complex issue but than again, instead of making martyr out of her, we must remember they were the perfect match (as most famous Greeks in the world back than) and Callas experienced passion and love that many other people never experience. 

The most startling fact for me was that so many lives end suddenly without a warning - Callas herself died from heart attack at the age of 53 and still in one of her last interviews she was full of hopes, dreams and plans, she even talked how she still waits for the perfect man who will take care of her. There were also some funny moments when one can't help but notice how genuinely theatrical lady she was, very much poised and mannered all the time - than again we are talking about 1950s when women were expected to behave that way. In one funny scene, she is filmed on the set of movie "Medea" and she quickly licks her glasses in a very unexpected, genuinely human moment - scenes like these show her not as a mythical diva but as a sweet, warm person.

Hellos and goodbyes

Back after a hiatus, in the meantime had some seismic changes in my life.

Just as I wanted for the very long time, I have finally gave up nomadic life and settled on land after fifteen (!) years of constant travelling, re-located to another country and found a job that I had in mind. Everybody who knows me, by now understand my opinion about my previous travelling life - it sounds glamorous but the reality is completely opposite, it has been really demanding and challenging for most of the part, physically and mentally, the joys of seeing the world mostly eclipsed by sheer amount of work and lifestyle that eventually became cause of genuine unhappiness. I started craving for my own private space, for the life where I can have my own quality time, evenings, weekends and socialising, even peeling my own potatoes instead of eating in the canteens and such. So I pulled trough really bravely and managed to escape the hamster's wheel and right now I am still amazed and awed with such a huge change, where I walk to my new work trough the beautiful historical streets of the city where I wanted to be and enjoying cinemas/dinners with friends instead of constantly working until midnight, seven days a week. 

Unfortunately, this new beginning has also been a goodbye to my dear and faithful companion Teddy Bear who got stolen together with my backpack in a train just as I have arrived here. He was my most beloved material possession, always had travelled with me around the world and nothing else that I own gave me such a joy - all the books, music, clothes and everything else is replaceable but this little fellow was my friend and I truly feel pain in my heart every time I see photos of him taken in various places. I am still mourning for him and even if I manage to find exactly the same Teddy Bear again, the original is gone and it really bothers me very much. With him is also gone the whole idea that I can own something that means so much to me, everything seems to be transient. It saddened me so much that I couldn't make myself writing here or starting a new diary (also stolen) or even reading books which I would normally do. Theft of my little Teddy Bear really broke my heart.