New destination

Everything ready & set for a new embarkation on my next ship. It will be another 6 months of sailing "where no man has gone before". In my case it actually means few places where I have not been so far, like Marseille (second largest city in France!) and perhaps South America later.

Now, ships and places are fine - to others it sounds very exciting because most of the people live lives full of routine and I wake up every morning in a different country. "Lucky you" I hear so often " always new people and new places" like I am some perpetual tourist drinking Pina Colada here and Sangria there."You don't have to pay the rent & bills" is another ubiquitous comment that shows people on land have completely twisted idea what is my life all about.The reality is different - ships would not import workers to have them enjoying the ships but to make sure little wheels are turning 24 hours a day while PASSENGERS are enjoying.From the cleaner who sweeps the stairs full of vomit to the chef in a kitchen, from a guy in casino who deals with drunken passengers to hairdressers, waiters, medical staff, accountants, shore excursion people, photographers and beyond, everybody works their asses off and daily manage working hours that by far exceeds anything known to people on land. I am sure that we probably do double of what people on land work, daily. And that is seven-days-a-week. Month after month. Passengers of course don't realize this and they often ask (good-naturedly) "So, do you get some days off now when we leave?" No, we pack you away and receive new passengers immediately the very same day. 

Very often I start my day around 8 a.m. and work straight trough until midnight. Interestingly enough, after a while body get used to it and we usually fall apart once we get home. I have a friend who sat in her garden and got a stroke. Yes, we are lucky to have jobs and we are paid relatively decent money compared what we would probably make at home but casualty are our swollen feat, lack of rest, nervousness and exhaustion. I can't count the times I was so beyond-the-tired that I was ready to quit - specially knowing "I will sleep and rest the day after tomorrow" - somehow actually I have managed to do this for almost a decade. So, no Pina Colada but work,work,work and than some more work. And than security drills. Which are necessary but they are hard to endure if one is exhausted and half-dead from lack of sleep. Have I mention that we don't have windows in our cabins? We live in the dark,with air conditioners and under artificial electric lights and if there is any possibility to actually go ashore, we all suffer under sunglasses. I am not writing this to complain - its my choice after all - just to make it clear, to whoever might be reading this, that cruise ship life is not for everybody, is not one never-ending fun adventure full of touristic excursions and sun but a hard, sweaty work without a day off for half a year. 

Am I looking forward to it? I am a tiny bit excited to visit some previously unknown places, to be honest. Never been to South America so far, if we don't count Panama where I didn't see much besides the pier and few crocodiles outside. Will I actually have chance to see these places? Who knows? To be realistic, there is a very big chance I will be so swarmed with workload that a view from the ship might be all I will get. Deep in my heart I only hope that I will have enough time to sleep and rest because body can only take so much. But I'm going prepared mentally that it will be not Pina Colada all the way and who knows, I might actually manage just fine.

Grupa More debut LP (1974)

Truly classic 1970s pop album that definitely reserved its recent re-release on CD.

"More" (The Sea) was excellent group from Split, where many later-famous musicians got their start. On this particular album vocal duties were given to young Meri Cetinić (who was great) but she was certainly not the only one who shone as a member - if you check out their discography, you might find Oliver Dragojević, Doris Dragović and even Jasmin Stavros in a gang. 

Its a gentle,acoustic pop and dreamy, contemplative single was a monster hit - perhaps annoying a bit as refrain was mercilessly repeated just in case listener forgets what is the title of the song - music is what one would expect from a bunch of young,romantic people, soft, lovelorn and romantic.  Young Meri Cetinić in her pre-schlager fame was truly a soulful singer and she pours her heart out in some gentle ballads while the guys play really good behind her. Two very good Santana-like instrumentals are surprisingly nice touch and point at high level of musicianship - nothing to be ashamed of here, these are not just some commercial jingle hacks but really strong players who love music. Considering where Croatian music moved during the next few decades it makes one think what happened to real music like this? Very last song is "Horizont" and is perhaps the best thing on the album - combination of instrumental and wordless chorus that hums the melody after haunting flute intro is truly anthemic and unforgettable - than, splash of the waves (just like the very first sounds we heard on the album) and this beautiful little album is finished. What a jewel. 

It's an album that could only have been done by young people still passionate about the music they love - later, as they all turned into "professionals", all of these artists got into some compromises and results were predictably lukewarm. That is why this debut LP is so important, to save the memory of the beginning when inspiration was high and real music still in their veins. Even now, decades later, for many of the artists involved this is the best thing they ever did. 

Tina live in Europe (1988)

Turner had enjoyed huge and deserved success in the 1980s , well documented on this double CD (originally double vinyl LP) that has material from two tours combined into one release. One can actually see both of them as they were released on VHS tapes at the time, it was "Private dancer tour" (1985) and "Break every rule tour" (1986) - as everything else,it was masterminded by australian manager Roger Davies who used the opportunity to sell "new" live album while new studio release was still just being planned. Millions of fans around the world did not mind (me included) because it was a souvenir of exciting concert performances where Turner finally exploded into full-blown stadium attraction.

Not that it was the first live album for Turner who was recorded live as early as mid-1960s during those legendary "chitlin' circuit" years and beyond - interesting as those early performances were from a historical point of view, they would not attract young audience who probably could not care less for old r&b nuggets she sang way back than. Davies achieved something truly spectacular in its scope, he somehow managed to re-invent the old veteran and present her as completely new artist with a fresh material that charted and sold in truckloads. There is a certain irony that Turner is perceived as a woman who did it "on her own" away from domineering husband, where in fact it is clear her career was always led by someone else - she delivered the goods, men would arrange the business. Neither Ike no Davies could kick those legs in high hells across the stage night after night, on the other hand Turner needed someone to point the right direction. The post-divorce years in wilderness without recording contract are proof on that.

Music wise it plays on Turner's 1980s material - she was lucky enough to get completely new repertoire and did not fall into "oldies" trap. One can clearly hear her happiness attacking than-curent pop hits and leaving 1960s completely behind. Its completely other question are these bombastic top charts actually better than old stuff - "Typical Male" and "Mad Max" movie theme might shook the charts and were what audience expected & wanted but its Ike-years where her legend was cemented,if you ask me. That is perhaps why her 1980s stuff pales next to excitement and passion of second part of this "live" album where Turner finally attacks some old 1960s soul covers - pop ditties are all fine but when she tears trough covers of "Land Of 1,000 Dances" and "In The Midnight Hour" the music & audience truly erupts in a frenzy - it is also a reminder what a spectacular r&b screamer she always was in the heart, true old-school grit in the league of the classic soul greats.

All this 1980s synthesizers-cellophane and celebrity duets were perhaps inevitable compromise that did not hurt her commercial appeal - after all Roger Davies did admirable job on establishing her as a star attraction of first order. But listen for yourself all those pop ditties and than turn to something like old Sam Cooke song "A Change Is Gonna Come" (backed with Robert Cray on guitar) and tell me where Turner's heart lies. She knows how to play a game - Bowie and such extra guests are just frills and decorations, if you are not aware of this than you miss the whole point of who Turner is.

"Legend: The Genesis of civilization" by David Rohl

Exciting,interesting and informative book that I am enjoying very slowly because I don't want it to end - and can only take in small doses, since amount of informations is so huge that  I need some time to think about it. Call it "Biblical archeology" if you want. While scientists and academics usually dismiss Old Testament as a myth, David Rohl goes for kill and travels the world wondering "what if?" - he is not just some pseudo-amateur,mind you, guy has degree in Egyptology,Ancient History and has few other feathers on his cap, including being Director of the Institute for the Study of Interdisciplinary Sciences, official support of University of London and University College - his books are best sellers and he is the man behind TV documentary "Pharaohs and Kings: A Biblical Quest" - what is unusual about Rohl is that he is really passionate about his research and allows possibility that perhaps behind the myth there IS a historical truth. 

"Legend" puts the question: what if Old Testament actually keeps a memory of beginning of our civilization? He points that "Genesis" is in its original Hebrew form actually called different ("In the beginning") and that is typical for much older Mesopotamian practice of naming the text by the first words of the narrative - in other words, we might have actually look at far older documents that were eventually with time transferred to tribes of Moses. All through the book Rohl plays with the idea that true cradle of humanity lies in todays Middle East from where civilization have sprung to not-so-distant places around. The first bomb he throws at as is location of Garden of Eden: described in Bible as placed between four rivers (we know two,Tigris and Euphrat) he identifies the other two that in the meantime had changed names and places it in what is Iran today - it used to be rich valley and is deserted place today, destroyed by industrialization. 

Just think about it - whatever places Old Testament describes must have been simply a "world" of people who lived in that area way back than. When Adam and his descendants were exiled from Eden, fierce angels with swords kept the entrance of Eden protected - Rohl explains that tribes who lived in the surrounding mountains had local shamans dressed up in feathers (angels/feathers/wings?) and they would fight against any intruders who might travel to their territory. He describes great migration that eventually resulted in big cities of Sumer, archeological evidence that people moved from Zagros mountains to Mesopotamia and as they came "down from the mountain" (Eden) they built huge cities like Ur,Eridu and Uruk - catastrophic flood described in Bible moved the centre of civilization from one place to another and as people stopped worshipping old Gods, Jahwe came to be known (but in earlier times he was called Enki). The story of God cursing the builders of Babel tower might simply hide something that really happen on a different level - what was a single religion in the times before the flood, became multi-God separation that brought tribes to wars later.

Rohl explains how Noah's sons created three different lines of tribes (Japeth,Ham and Shem) that would eventually cover such diverse territories as Greece,Egypt and Assyria. He than goes in a detail about the place I never heard before - island of Bahrai in Persian Gulf where sea water mingles with river (and one can drink fresh water in the middle of the sea!) and where there are literary thousands of unexplained ancient graves spread around the desert. No one clearly knows who built them, why there are there (its a small island and never had such a huge population) and most of them were never even used. But pottery finds have engraved images of Mesopotamian God! And there are clear indications that this might have been sacred place for Sumerians who lived thousands of miles away, naming it "Dilbun" by some far older tradition that remembers legendary place in the mountains where ancestors first came from. 

Right now I am kind of half-way of the book and the story has moved to ancient Egypt where Rohl connects roots of their civilization with much older Mesopotamia - there are clear indications that some old intruders had come from far away with a ships (there are countless mysterious paintings of ships pulled trough the desert!) and brought their tradition, letters and Gods with them. Egyptians called them "people from the land of God" but in fact they might be legendary Phoenicians who introduced new technologies to the Nile valley including achitecture (high towers) and letters, not to mention Gods like Horus who was known in Mesopotamia as flood hero Atrahasis. 

Its a book I am enjoying very slowly because I don't want to finish it. I approached it with curiosity because usually I don't take seriously everything that is printed but Rohl has such intelligent and passionate way with his subject and he is obviously so well informed that I am completely under his spell Excellent book!

Teddy Bear

If you visited this blog, you probably wondered what is the thing with a little traveling Teddy Bear.

This Teddy Bear was given to me many years ago by accidental tourist, when I lived in Amsterdam and worked at hotel reception. It's probably a kind of souvenir toy one can buy at the airport, mine has a Maple leaf on its paw, real canadian Teddy. Now, I don't remember ever having a toys - apparently I had some as a small toddler but I do remember having books and making up my own toys: cities built from books, little people (kings,queens,soldiers) drawn on pieces of paper. This is not because I lived in desperate poverty but because I preferred to use my own imagination and create my toys out of nothing than to have something already made. However, this little funny Teddy found a place on my bookshelf and lived there quite nicely until I started to pack my suitcase and decided to work on cruise ships - in a spur of the moment, I decided Teddy goes with me, he will see the world finally. For many years he is my traveling companion. I have tiny room always shared with somebody and he lives on my bookshelf. Sometime I take him out with me to have a picture of him looking at the world. Apparently I am not the only one because a lot of people on the ship have their own little pets like this one. He always travel in my backpack because I don't want to risk having him lost with a suitcase somewhere. The only time ever I was afraid for him was when I ended up in hospital with Appendicitis operation and my luggage was brought in a hospital - I was in a bed with tubes attached to my arms and could not move, was wondering did they pack my Teddy in a suitcase. At certain point I couldn't stand uncertainty anymore and although it was dangerous for me to lift anything heavy so soon after the operation, I crawled out of bed and fiddled with a really heavy suitcase just to check is he there somewhere - he was!

Right now he is here, sharing my space no matter where I roam. He is a world-class traveler, had seen places like Australia, Alaska, South Africa, Caribbean Islands, Canary Islands, most of the cities along Mediterranean and Baltic coasts. Yes, we have visited Canada together. He does not have name except "Teddy Bear" and I don't sleep with him, his place is always on a bookshelf. Just as I need my own space,he needs his - kind of my little alter ego. Recently I noticed he had a small piece of cloth attached with name of the company that made him - "Maplefoot babies" - even found a picture of his little relatives on the web. For a moment thought about cutting it off, than I decided no, if he lived with it for so many years, let him have it. He is small enough to fit into palm of my hand so its not difficult to have him around and I really get a kick of taking a picture of him around the world. Probably somewhere unconsciously I think he is little me. 

Naturally my colleagues know about him - sometimes they give me other bears like presents, I am thankful and glad but they never travel with me because I can't travel around with a Teddy Bear family. He is the first and the only Teddy Bear. I am looking forward to a time when my nomadic life would finally settle in some regular dry-land routine and Teddy will finally find a real home. I am usually not attached to anything material - all my stuff is always spread around in different countries and sometimes I even buy several editions of the same book because I forgot that I already bought it, however Teddy Bear is my irreplaceable little companion, he does not harm anyone and just lives quietly, I love my Teddy Bear.

Once I get my own place, he will have the whole shelf for himself.

Birthday

On the first day of September I officially became 43 years old.

Nothing much to celebrate here - as a kid, this day was usually ignored because it happened during initial start of the school - I do remember some kiddies birthday parties but once I hit the puberty it wasn't celebrated at all. For most of my adult life it was something to mention in passing to my friends & colleagues who couldn't believe I take it so nonchalantly. I clearly remember some party I visited in Amsterdam just because I turned 30 and how I celebrated quietly with a lunch in Lisbon few years ago when I became 40. Big deal. 

This year was the same - if anything,what years have brought me is some inner confidence and realization of what makes ME happy as opposite to following the crowd. If crowd goes left, I will probably turn right. If the whole Amsterdam drinks and celebrates Gay Pride on the streets, I avoid the crowd and go out of town to enjoy museums in Hague. I learned to enjoy my solitary hobbies, relax in my own company without being bored and always have something interesting to do - even just lying down and reading without "having" to do anything. Sometimes accepting life for what it is - not some huge,strange mystery but random happenings where one can either enjoy or get stressed. Accepting that not everybody is the same and that for many people what I find normal and logical is not so. Even better - that I don't have to explain to the others why and how - let them be. I do my thing, you do yours. 

Years have been kind more or less in a sense that I had not turned into hunchback but naturally wear and tear is showing,which is not the most important thing. Waist-line is not like decades ago but eyes are still sparkling and brain still works. Appendicitis operation showed me that we can never 100% decide what will happen because body is a machine that needs occasional nurturing and care, that is why I don't bother with going out in the sun (it does not suits me) and gladly enjoy every coffee, cigarette and lunch when inspiration takes over. Nothing better than sitting in some foreign town and ordering Irish Coffee because I can. Just being nice to myself. 

I am loner by nature. Lived on my own for so many years that I accepted it as natural state of life - when I was younger I did like everybody else and tortured myself with romantic possibilities, not so much from conviction that this is something good for me,but because we are all brainwashed with magazines and movies that people need to constantly be in love. Now at this point I don't believe in it. Some people are simply born to live alone and there is nothing tragic about it. There are friends that make me laugh and enrich my life, occasional affairs that prove I am still capable of getting weak in the knees but honestly I am clear-eyed about the whole thing and need my own space. Looking around me at so many relationships where someone always pulls the leash I came to conclusion that it does not work for me - the moment when someone starts to scream for attention, I step back forever. Many times its difficult to step back without hurting the person but I never give false signals and don't play with anybody's feelings because I believe it all comes back to you - however, they are some people who drain my energy and I try not to get caught in that. It's simply not necessary. We are company because we enjoy each other,having fun, laughing or inspiring each other - if not, I am perfectly happy just writing or reading my book.

Many times I was in love but still enjoyed visiting museum on my own without a need to hold hands 24 hours a day.

Where do I see myself in the future? The health is the most important obviously - I will work as long as body permits because material possessions and career were never my priority. As for hopes and dreams, we will see,nothing can be arranged and decided definitely. I don't see myself ever raising a family because old habits die hard and I don't want obligations,sacrifices and everything that family includes - looking back at my own childhood I see how traumatizing it can reflect on a kid and I don't want to find myself in a situation that I am tired or not in the mood. If 90% of humanity raises families, there is still 10% of us who can live without wishing for it. As years go I feel more confident about what is good for me and what is not. I might drop dead tomorrow from heart attack. Or I might live some 20 years more quietly reading my books, writing my diary and simply being nice to people around me. To be honest, life really started at 30 for me so there is no reason why it shouldn't continue upwards. These last several years were spent in a brutal work on a cruise ships where I did a lot of traveling but at the same time tested the limits of human endurance because its definitely not fun working 16 hours daily, week after week and still being at work at 4 a.m. thinking "I will sleep day after tomorrow". Sometimes I think that it would be better for me to sell Hot Dog and live relaxed than to earn money like this. Than I go out for a walk somewhere in Tenerife and think life is good.

Life is good, if you know how to notice it.

Ornella Vanoni

The third in line of now-legendary italian singers of 1960s is Ornella Vanoni.

Vanoni is the oldest of them - and she started in theatre, performing Brecht and recording unusual repertoire of songs about crime,mafia and such (they call her "underworld singer" back than) which is still my favorite period of her career. These very early recordings are highly theatrical, almost cinematic little dramas where she was backed by none other than future cinema maestro Ennio Morricone, singing strange songs about prisons, police siren echoing around the streets, seedy side of life with prostitutes and pimps, brutality and reality that other singers usually skip. Her young voice was strong, full and throaty, booming from a stage like a waterfall.

Some time in 1960s Vanoni changed her music approach - her voice changed into a gentle croon, material focused on love ballads like "Senza fine" and off she went onto pop festivals, competing with Mina and Milva but there was always something intellectual about her. Even if the singles were sometimes poppy and bouncy, albums were serious affairs - she called one "Ai Miei Amici Cantautori" (My friends songwriters) and covered Jacques Brel, Gino Paoli, Charles Aznavour and Gilbert Bécaud. I particularly love the way she sings covers, because Vanoni has such incredibly beautiful, liquid voice that often brings this material into a new sphere - her cover of "Bridge over troubled water" or "Killing me softly" are perfect example of the way she spreads her own magic dust onto well-known repertoire, often sounding much more interesting than english speaking artists. 

Than there is Brazil. Vanoni always had affinity for music from Brazil and in fact one of her biggest 1960s hits was "Tristezza" that pointed at the well she would explore often. There was a huge hit "L'Appuntamento" that also had Brazilian origin (decades later used in a movie "Ocean's twelve") and finally a whole album "La voglia, la pazzia, l'incoscienza e l'allegria" where she collaborated with top composers from Brazil. Her tender croon is also well known in late-night jazz ballads and Vanoni had lot of autumnal, reflective songs in her repertoire.

Today there are still a lot of original Ornella Vanoni albums re-issued on CDs and they are easy to find in music shops. She has a very distinctive & recognizable voice that is best described as a soft whispery croon as she rarely goes for kill and usually stays calm and collected in her tenderness. One of the singers on my ships told me she could listen to Ornella Vanoni all day long and I understand her perfectly because its very soothing voice with a nice,intelligent poetic lyrics and pretty melodic music. Like with so many other artists, I am not completely swept away with her work from 1980s onwards because I dislike plastic synthesizer- arrangements and re-recordings of old songs in new production. For me, the best Ornella is 1960s and 1970s one when real people played instead of machines. Check any of her beautiful albums from 1970s and that is the best possible introduction to this artist.